Question:
LOL!!! My first Internet experience was on the job, and we kept hearing about all this pornography, so one lunchtime (ahem) we went a-searchin’! The worst we found was some men’s underwear advertisement. Hardly the stuff x-rated films are made of. What a crock. Talk about mass hysteria. Lynn BTW-we didn’t find any pornography – I haven’t looked since, and, I never ran across anything by accident, either.
It’s not mass hysteria. There are horrible things on the net. A lot of it you do have to pay for, but a lot you don’t. I am forever stumbling onto things. For instance, I search for MP3’s. When I find a page, sometimes I have to clock on the the "sponsor banner" to gain access into the MP3 page. Nasty, nasty stuff. Another time, I was at a respectable (or I thought) business web page. I clicked on one of their links, and it took me to a porn page. I e-mailed this company to let them know where their link brought me. If you are responsible about what you do on the internet, you will be fine. I met some wonderful people on here. I also chat occasionally. I even met the man I will probably marry here. So, no, things are not all bad, but you certainly need to be weary. I do not let my 9 year old boy surf the net unless I am in the room with him. Not that I don’t trust him, but you never know what he may come across. It’s an awesome tool and it’s not going anywhere. It is going to get better. Suz
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I go to a few chat rooms where i chat with some friends.these are the special interest topic rooms not the cyber sex rooms where all talk surrounds the romance thing. we discuss cooking in the chat i frequent and general family talk and i have met some interesting people from different parts of the world csally
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BIG SNIP With time many friends and family have joined the net – so this has helped maintain and improve those relationships enormously.
I agree! One of my sisters lives only about half an hour from me but as happens our lives didn’t cross paths often. As a result we grew farther apart. Then I found out she was considering buying a computer. Took her shopping to get her first computer…talked her into getting the net as well. We have ‘talked’ more in the past 6 months than we have in 20 years! Now if I could just talk Mom and Dad into it. There are so many times that I think of something I would like to ask them…or share with them…but because of long distance costs I don’t call very often. And by the time I do…or go visit…I have forgotten those small things that could add so much to a relationship. Angela
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- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – LOL!!! My first Internet experience was on the job, and we kept hearing about all this pornography, so one lunchtime (ahem) we went a-searchin’! The worst we found was some men’s underwear advertisement. Hardly the stuff x-rated films are made of. What a crock. Talk about mass hysteria. Lynn BTW-we didn’t find any pornography – I haven’t looked since, and, I never ran across anything by accident, either. It’s not mass hysteria. There are horrible things on the net. A lot of it you do have to pay for, but a lot you don’t. I am forever stumbling onto things. For instance, I search for MP3’s. When I find a page, sometimes I have to clock on the the "sponsor banner" to gain access into the MP3 page. Nasty, nasty stuff. Another time, I was at a respectable (or I thought) business web page. I clicked on one of their links, and it took me to a porn page. I e-mailed this company to let them know where their link brought me. If you are responsible about what you do on the internet, you will be fine. I met some wonderful people on here. I also chat occasionally. I even met the man I will probably marry here. So, no, things are not all bad, but you certainly need to be weary. I do not let my 9 year old boy surf the net unless I am in the room with him. Not that I don’t trust him, but you never know what he may come across. It’s an awesome tool and it’s not going anywhere. It is going to get better. Suz
hi there! i seem to disagree with the above, there is lots of pornography out there, and you dont exactly have to be looking for it, and you dont have to pay for much of it either. just try looking at the ebay categories very carefully, and you’ll see what i mean. definitely not what i’d want my children looking at. as an example, i was looking up certain dog breeds, (for future pets), and went wildly into a link, and found myself looking at the most disgusting things out. so beware, and becareful. kathy
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Hey, I got caught in that trap too. I used to play Gemstone and I was also an elf (of the light skin variety) LOL. A wizard tried to accost me (turned out he was a 13 year old looking for a cyber "friend" LOL). That’s about when I gave up playing and devoted the extra time & money to stitching. The last thing I needed was to be explaining to DH why some little twerp was trying to get into my cloak 
) Karen F – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I found a place called the Red Dragon Inn chat room during my newbie-fever! It cost me a small fortune, role-playing that I was a green-skinned, young and gorgeous elf. A *blue-skinned* tunnel orc tried to accost me (turned out he was a vampire) and wanted me to marry him, but I turned him into a rutabaga and vanished. I haven’t been able to go back because I found it *so* addictive! (I played D & D in the Days of My Youth and never got it out of my system). Trish {|:OI} I’ve never gotten into chat/IRC/MUD/etc. A roommate of mine in college flunked a semester because he’d spend all of his time MUD-ing. I think you can do that stuff responsibly, but it takes good self-control. You aren’t kidding. I got into a soap Channel about, oh, er 2 years ago (Coronation Street for those interested). For the first 6 months, I was racking up close to 80 hours on my ISP, most of it IRC (Internet Relay Channels). Then something in me switched. I get in there often enough to keep my nickname (14 days on Dal), but put in about 20 hours a month (half of it surfing/mail) on my ISP. It is hard though. You get used to a room. Then you make a deal with yourself that you only chat for an hour. At 55 minutes, the person you haven’t seen for 2 months comes in. You deal yourself another 15 minutes. Then you get embroiled in a discussion that really interests you, so you deal yourself another 15 minutes. Then you look at the clock, and 5 hours have passed (not kidding here guys). Then you get ICQ (I seek you), so you or your friends can plan when you are all going to be there (hoping to spend less time there), but end up spending more time combined on ICQ and IRC, and even get into channel politics and are on both at the same time (with people who won’t go into the room if XXX is there). I’ve done it, I’ve seen others do it. It really is natural (remember when you first got your driver’s licence and wanted to drive all the time?), but it is addictive. At some point, reality checks in (hopefully), and you pick and choose what you want (I’ve seen some dump IRC and use ICQ totally, and some the other way around, and others that can control both). When I found I was avoiding loading my ICQ, I knew it was time to dump it (I felt like big brother was watching my time…and had some people who felt hurt if I didn’t talk to them every second I was logged in). Tara
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I think it’s really interesting how many people have met and married over the internet. In the very small town I live in, I personally know of 3 people!!! Anyway, re: the original question about the internet taking over lives: I know when I first got internet service, I was obsessed with it — I did e-mail, surfed, you name it for hours. But because I am essentially a well-rounded person with lots of interests, that initial obsession wore off after about a week or two, and now I just have the normal internet withdrawal if I don’t get to it for a day or two! I think some of these people *aren’t* well-rounded and don’t have outside relationships or interests, so the internet takes over and fills in the void. Absolutely wonderful advice. Wanted to mention that I met my husband 8 years ago through a Prodigy bulletin board. Over many months of strictly "business" discussions, we fell in love, got married, and have lived an absolutely loving life together. Our life has been tough just like anyone elses – but out love is the strongest imagineable. We each have our own computer and do things together in the play room. Maybe that also helps ("honey, would you listen to this sentence? Does it make sense?" or "like this choice of instruments?") Guess the bottom line is we SHARE our lives. Dianne
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Absolutely wonderful advice. Wanted to mention that I met my husband 8 years ago through a Prodigy bulletin board. Over many months of strictly "business" discussions, we fell in love, got married, and have lived an absolutely loving life together. Our life has been tough just like anyone elses – but out love is the strongest imagineable. We each have our own computer and do things together in the play room. Maybe that also helps ("honey, would you listen to this sentence? Does it make sense?" or "like this choice of instruments?") Guess the bottom line is we SHARE our lives. Dianne
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With time many friends and family have joined the net – so this has helped maintain and improve those relationships enormously. The guy I met my DH though – his good friend – has moved from NZ to UK and now lives in Santa Fe, he’s now online and we keep in much better touch.
My family (I am one of eight children) are all on e-mail at least. And all four of my own children (ages 14 through 23) have e-mail. This is great for keeping in touch with each other. My husband has a boss who does not like him to receive personal phone calls. So we e-mail when we need to talk, or just say I love you during the day. This is far less intrusive to his work life than a phone call is, he takes it when he has the time, and replies as he has the time. Same for me! Lastly and the thing most relevant to RCTN. I met my evil twin Pauline – here on RCTN and now wonder how I would get by without my regular phone conversations and visits. The side benefit is Pauline’s SO and my DH are great blokes and we make a great foursome – have lots of common interests, spend a lot of Saturday nights together and have another holiday together planned.
Yes, and I met lots of people here and especially on rec.motorcycles who have become friends. Some I’ve even met in the flesh. Julie
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It’s not all as bad as we hear about! I met a wonderful guy online and we recently got married! I am from Canada and he is from the USA and we never would’ve met if it weren’t for the net. However, I do agree that it is mostly the chat rooms that cause problems. My husband (still getting used to that word!) still does some chatting online, but he knows his limit and knows when he needs to spend time with ME ;o) I trust him completely and I know he’s not doing anything wrong – besides, it’s really easy to check up on that *wink* Marnie
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The first time I tried the net was at my last place of employment…A produce company. So…we were doing a search for fruit. To my surprise we got some rather hilarious unexpected responses! One in particular involved dirty underwear! Someone was actually posting a want ad for dirty underwear! But, as to the whole, I have run across such things by accident only a very few times. Angela – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – All, and is it just possible that the reason the top ten words typed into yahoo are porn related is that you have to SEARCH for porn. It really isn’t just out there everywhere in your face for kids and all. (unless they have a credit card) My DH and I really tried to find stuff as an experiment, and everywhere we got to, required the bucks before you saw much of anything–and what you did see was certainly no worse than cable TV. — LOL!!! My first Internet experience was on the job, and we kept hearing about all this pornography, so one lunchtime (ahem) we went a-searchin’! The worst we found was some men’s underwear advertisement. Hardly the stuff x-rated films are made of. What a crock. Talk about mass hysteria. Lynn BTW-we didn’t find any pornography – I haven’t looked since, and, I never ran across anything by accident, either.
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All, and is it just possible that the reason the top ten words typed into yahoo are porn related is that you have to SEARCH for porn. It really isn’t just out there everywhere in your face for kids and all. (unless they have a credit card) My DH and I really tried to find stuff as an experiment, and everywhere we got to, required the bucks before you saw much of anything–and what you did see was certainly no worse than cable TV. — Pam Thompson remove gb.girl for e-mail – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – But one day I saw listening to Kim Komando (computer guru talk radio program) and she said that yahoo had a listing of the most frequent words typed in to their program to search the net. Eight of the top ten were in some way related to pornography. Martha
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All, and is it just possible that the reason the top ten words typed into yahoo are porn related is that you have to SEARCH for porn. It really isn’t just out there everywhere in your face for kids and all. (unless they have a credit card) My DH and I really tried to find stuff as an experiment, and everywhere we got to, required the bucks before you saw much of anything–and what you did see was certainly no worse than cable TV. —
LOL!!! My first Internet experience was on the job, and we kept hearing about all this pornography, so one lunchtime (ahem) we went a-searchin’! The worst we found was some men’s underwear advertisement. Hardly the stuff x-rated films are made of. What a crock. Talk about mass hysteria. Lynn BTW-we didn’t find any pornography – I haven’t looked since, and, I never ran across anything by accident, either.
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HI! Sometimes I think I spend too much time on-line (even though its only approx. an hour a day.) But one day I saw listening to Kim Komando (computer guru talk radio program) and she said that yahoo had a listing of the most frequent words typed in to their program to search the net. Eight of the top ten were in some way related to pornography. Now, I am not one of those who think the internet should be censored (mainly because I think it would be an impossible task), but I do think that a large number of the people that have problems from the internet have it for this reason. And probably a large number of them would have had trouble anyway. Martha
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This post was interesting in that it’s almost exactly how several books describe how ‘normal’ affairs start. i.e. most times the person isn’t really actively looking – it’s just a coworker will seem sympathetic, more available (well yea – you’re together 8+ hours a day at work), etc, etc, etc, the spouse will be busy getting a degree, at their work, with the kids . . . and seemingly ignoring you soooooooooo something triggers and it happens. Then the excitement takes over, (from keeping a secret etc.) but 9 times out of 10 if it’s followed through to a divorce and remarriage to this new person it also never works. Why – the same reason, you don’t *really* know this person, only a very small – "best" side was ever presented. . . . In other words – it’s the people involved not the medium. If the marriage was being worked ‘right’ with talking on both side, etc. then neither spouse feels ‘left out’ because the other is too busy. This is a vast simplification of the whole problem/solution but – you can’t really blame the internet (other than as someone else pointed out, it’s much easier to get start down the above, ‘wrong’ road). On a happy note – the internet can bring good things to life. My husband and I met on the internet and a year later were married. It’s not been total bliss – but that’s normal human relations – but I love him more now than 2 years ago so something must be going right 
Sonya (in Texas) – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Interesting topic! Let me preface this by saying that this has NOT happened to me, but it’s happened to a few people that I know. My own experience is that I spent a few weeks doing online chats about five years ago, and saw firsthand how shallow, but intially interesting, it can be to develop an online "relationship". Once I figured out that I was wasting my time, I stopped doing it. It seems easier to many people to maintain online "relationships" than real-life ones. It’s easy to trick yourself into thinking you’re getting to know people online, and that your interactions are meaningful. ……<snip Way too many people (men, women, boys and girls) are turning to their computer and to these cyberpersonas thinking they’re getting the real thing. It can be flattering to find someone who is willing to talk and listen (i.e., type and read) to your stories, gripes, joys, fantasies, etc. You can even latch onto one person who is willing to reciprocate what seems to be nearly complete and undivided attention to you, and that’s where things get carried away. Especially for a young person with little real-life experience in relationships, it can be overwhelmingly fun and a big ego boost to think that someone else is that "into you." Just like when you had your highschool romances and found that one boy who was just dreamy, who couldn’t live without you, who couldn’t go one day without talking to you on the phone, it’s so easy to find that kind of breathy, goofy flirtation online. What most people forget is that that kind of interaction is pretty lame, and it’s certainly no substitute for real life. But if you’re in a relationship (marriage or otherwise) that is going through a boring period, or if you feel misunderstood or taken for granted, it’s easy to slip into the mindset that an online interaction is easier, better, more fun, more sexy, more interesting (fill in your own word) than the real one that you’re in at the time. Too many people launch themselves into the easier mode of interaction, and if it’s "forbidden", that just increases the intrigue. Next thing you know, you’ve cheated on your spouse, moved out and moved in with the person you met online. Lo and behold, it turns out that they’re not who/what you thought…hey, they leave the cap off the toothpaste! She chews with her mouth open! He lied about his looks! Someone embellished a story. Then you find that you’re disallusioned, but by then, you’ve thrown away what you had before and it looks good by comparison. *That’s* how real lives get messed up by online interactions.
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Thought I would ask this question, the reason being is that I have read where the Internet has broken up marriages, and friendships and the like.
<otter wrote back to Lavania Interesting topic! Let me preface this by saying that this has NOT happened to me, but it’s happened to a few people that I know. My own experience is that I spent a few weeks doing online chats about five years ago, and saw firsthand how shallow, but intially interesting, it can be to develop an online "relationship". Once I figured out that I was wasting my time, I stopped doing it.
<snipped 2 cents worth Just my two cents… Nancy to reply via email, remove THE OTTER from my return address
Gotta tell you all something it doesn’t always work out badly. I know, first hand experience. I met and married the man of my dreams online. We met in AOL, in a game called Never Winter Nights. There are pitfalls everywhere people. Whether its in RL or OL. Common sense is always a rule. My ex husband was a drunk bastard most of the time. If I hadn’t met my husband now, I don’t know where I would be. <That was in 1993/94 on AOL Chat rooms may be addictive and fascinating. But really what is addictive is the communication and the freedom you feel in doing it. The internet is not something new you know. It’s been around a while. Everyone out here sitting behind a screen is real. So just like in face to face settings there has to be responsibility. Example: Just because you feel safe sitting behind a screen insulting someone’s favorite Online shop doesn’t make it right. And more importantly would you do it face to face? I thank god I met my husband online. I have no regrets, I have made some wonderful friends online over the years since 1986 and I have met quite a few of them, from CA to NC. I find if you go looking for the bad things in life you usually find it. Off my soap box – Vicki M. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Visit my Links pages at http://www.concentric.net/~wildwolf/ Support the anti-Spam amendment. Join the fight http://www.cauce.org/ you know what to do with this wildwolf(at)concentric(dot)net xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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Thought I would ask this question, the reason being is that I have read where the Internet has broken up marriages, and friendships and the like. Would someone really let the wonderful fountain of information ruin their marriage? I can see where it sure could.
<RANT ON In a nut shell – we have choice about what we do and how we use it – so the net is another "hobby" and/or work tool which can be used positively in your life or negatively. So IMO its not the net that is "good" or "bad" but the actions of the people participating. So some people will misuse this tool just as they would any other. <RANT OFF As you might be able to tell from the "rant" I have a thing about the net being blamed for things. So here is my relationship and the net story. Some years ago, during the first few weeks of addiction I spent 66 hours one week online – and I dont do chat! Surfing was verrry verrrry slooooow. Since then I have had far more positive relationship experiences via the net than negative ones. I regularly use the net for work purposes – which brings in $ and helps maintain our lifestyle – this is a good thing for my personal relationships. Personally the best things are: With time many friends and family have joined the net – so this has helped maintain and improve those relationships enormously. The guy I met my DH though – his good friend – has moved from NZ to UK and now lives in Santa Fe, he’s now online and we keep in much better touch. Two other dear friends have moved from Australia to the US (HI and CO) so the net is great. Then DH daughter is in NZ and her step father has email – more family contact. Then there is my closest friend in NZ, Phillipa joined the net a couple of years ago and we have recently decided to go back to the phone – seeing as calls are down to 33c per minute. More spontaneous and reliable. Lastly and the thing most relevant to RCTN. I met my evil twin Pauline – here on RCTN and now wonder how I would get by without my regular phone conversations and visits. The side benefit is Pauline’s SO and my DH are great blokes and we make a great foursome – have lots of common interests, spend a lot of Saturday nights together and have another holiday together planned. And then there is the bunch of us Sydney siders (as we call our selves colloquially) meet together on an informal basis, having met through RCTN or the oz-stitch mailing list. BTW their are two get togethers coming up – 21st August the Stitching Show at Rosehill and 23rd August a stitching afternoon at Jennifer’s. So my life is too full to get so involved in the net as to ruin my relationships…. BFN OOROO Michelle
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Thought I would ask this question, the reason being is that I have read where the Internet has broken up marriages, and friendships and the like. Would someone really let the wonderful fountain of information ruin their marriage? I can see where it sure could. Lavania in Indianapolis
I love the net, I really do, but you have to be aware of it’s limitations. I don’t go on to chat rooms because I really don’t want to be doing the equivalent of meeting people in bars – but if there was a room with a theme or topic I was interested in I would go there. Although I do like the ng because I can make contact with people from all over the world with similar interests. You just have to be sensible. Deb — Space is big. Really big. You just won’t believe how vastly, mindbogglingly big it is….The simple truth is that interstellar distances will not fit into the human imagination. —- Douglas Adams, The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
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What is IRC and MUD? As you can probably tell I’ve never used the chat rooms.
IRC = Internet Relay Chat. You can enter these servers using programs like mIRC and join an available chat group or start your own. You type messages to the others in the room and they appear on the others’ screens in "real time" (real time but with occasional "server lag"). There are chat rooms on just about any topic you can imagine. You can send files, play music, etc. in chat. I don’t care for it but both of my parents run rooms so I occasionally have to drop in if I need to contact them. Yes, they are dreadfully addicted! MUD = Multi-User Dungeon. This is an on-line version of various role-playing games such as Advanced Dungeons & Dragons, etc. You make up a character and "play" that person in this virtual world against other live players as well as NPCs (non-player characters) and monsters or villians that are built into the program. Since the off-line version of these games is highly addictive, I’m certain the virtual versions are even more so. Former AD&Der talking here. Still like to draw maps and have an absolute fascination with TW’s patterns because we really needed some of those on the wall back when we were gaming… HTH X/USA/S/-/-/-/1C/"Hungry Pup" Symbol of Excellence, "Pastel Posies" Mill Hill/X/A/O,S/:-D~/D(Red Green fans unite!)/G/W+/D/M/B/b+/R-/S-/K+/E+/C/J+/ Harrison Ford, David Eddings, anything made by Mom! — Brenda Voss, Program Assistant II 6 Beardshear, Office of Student Financial Aid Iowa State University, Ames
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I found a place called the Red Dragon Inn chat room during my newbie-fever! It cost me a small fortune, role-playing that I was a green-skinned, young and gorgeous elf. A *blue-skinned* tunnel orc tried to accost me (turned out he was a vampire) and wanted me to marry him, but I turned him into a rutabaga and vanished. I haven’t been able to go back because I found it *so* addictive! (I played D & D in the Days of My Youth and never got it out of my system). Trish {|:OI} – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I’ve never gotten into chat/IRC/MUD/etc. A roommate of mine in college flunked a semester because he’d spend all of his time MUD-ing. I think you can do that stuff responsibly, but it takes good self-control. You aren’t kidding. I got into a soap Channel about, oh, er 2 years ago (Coronation Street for those interested). For the first 6 months, I was racking up close to 80 hours on my ISP, most of it IRC (Internet Relay Channels). Then something in me switched. I get in there often enough to keep my nickname (14 days on Dal), but put in about 20 hours a month (half of it surfing/mail) on my ISP. It is hard though. You get used to a room. Then you make a deal with yourself that you only chat for an hour. At 55 minutes, the person you haven’t seen for 2 months comes in. You deal yourself another 15 minutes. Then you get embroiled in a discussion that really interests you, so you deal yourself another 15 minutes. Then you look at the clock, and 5 hours have passed (not kidding here guys). Then you get ICQ (I seek you), so you or your friends can plan when you are all going to be there (hoping to spend less time there), but end up spending more time combined on ICQ and IRC, and even get into channel politics and are on both at the same time (with people who won’t go into the room if XXX is there). I’ve done it, I’ve seen others do it. It really is natural (remember when you first got your driver’s licence and wanted to drive all the time?), but it is addictive. At some point, reality checks in (hopefully), and you pick and choose what you want (I’ve seen some dump IRC and use ICQ totally, and some the other way around, and others that can control both). When I found I was avoiding loading my ICQ, I knew it was time to dump it (I felt like big brother was watching my time…and had some people who felt hurt if I didn’t talk to them every second I was logged in). Tara
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Thought I would ask this question, the reason being is that I have read where the Internet has broken up marriages, and friendships and the like. Would someone really let the wonderful fountain of information ruin their marriage? I can see where it sure could. Lavania in Indianapolis
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Thought I would ask this question, the reason being is that I have read where the Internet has broken up marriages, and friendships and the like. Would someone really let the wonderful fountain of information ruin their marriage? I can see where it sure could.
I’m single, but I have to wonder why people are turning to the ‘Net, as opposed to their spouses, to get their fullfilment. Ann Landers gets these complaints all the time, and she treats it like an addiction. When I first got on-line, I mentioned that I liked newsgroups to "talk" to people. A relative (one of those always critical ones) asked, "Why don’t you talk to *real* people?" Well, becuase I’m the only one I know who likes Homicide:Life on the Steet, I’m the only one in my circle who cross stiches, etc. I can understand the "new toy syndrome" when someone first goes on-line, but it’s the chat rooms, I think, that are causing the problems. Maybe if there was a little more "chat" at home, it wouldn’t be happening. Lynn Who won’t even mention some of the Star Trek discussions she’s had.
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When I first got on-line, I mentioned that I liked newsgroups to "talk" to people. A relative (one of those always critical ones) asked, "Why don’t you talk to *real* people?"
The rest of us out here aren’t real, we’re AI ‘bots. Well, becuase I’m the only one I know who likes Homicide:Life on the Steet, I’m the only one in my circle who cross stiches, etc.
I can understand this. I enjoy independent (non-superhero) comic books, and have made friends with people on the comics groups, whether fans, artists, or writers. Some of them I might not meet, but others I will (I’m going to a big international convention in San Diego this coming weekend) or have already, and even just the ‘chatting’ has introduced me to lots of things I wouldn’t have discovered otherwise. That includes new independent and European comics on the comics groups/lists, new patterns/designers/techniques here on r.c.t.n, new films/actors/directors on alt.asian-movies, and so on. I can understand the "new toy syndrome" when someone first goes on-line, but it’s the chat rooms, I think, that are causing the problems. Maybe if there was a little more "chat" at home, it wouldn’t be happening.
I’ve never gotten into chat/IRC/MUD/etc. A roommate of mine in college flunked a semester because he’d spend all of his time MUD-ing. I think you can do that stuff responsibly, but it takes good self-control. – Denise — If you’re posting to the group, PLEASE don’t send me a cc: too http://www.mcs.net/~dvoskuil/ X/USA/H+/-/5f/3B/Lilac Chatelaine (Victoria Sampler), Dreamer (Mirabilia)/XRK/32L/D/:-P~/0/M/B/b/R-/S/Kc/E/S/G/W-/-/-/ Chow Yun-Fat, Bruce Campbell/varies/hot salsa and tortilla chips
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Laviania, I agree with Lynn, in that it is the chat rooms, especially when the chat goes off-line. My best friend’s husband left her and moved in and eventaually married a gal he meet on-line, starting seeing her in person and going on from there. Not to metion the previous 4 affairs with other women he met on-line. We have been through a lot of tears and name calling but at least she is putting this all behind her and going on with her life. Lynn– As a Cross-Stitiching Star Trek fanatic, would love to hear some of the Star Trek discussions. Happy Stitches!! LauraLee – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Thought I would ask this question, the reason being is that I have read where the Internet has broken up marriages, and friendships and the like. Would someone really let the wonderful fountain of information ruin their marriage? I can see where it sure could. I’m single, but I have to wonder why people are turning to the ‘Net, as opposed to their spouses, to get their fullfilment. Ann Landers gets these complaints all the time, and she treats it like an addiction. When I first got on-line, I mentioned that I liked newsgroups to "talk" to people. A relative (one of those always critical ones) asked, "Why don’t you talk to *real* people?" Well, becuase I’m the only one I know who likes Homicide:Life on the Steet, I’m the only one in my circle who cross stiches, etc. I can understand the "new toy syndrome" when someone first goes on-line, but it’s the chat rooms, I think, that are causing the problems. Maybe if there was a little more "chat" at home, it wouldn’t be happening. Lynn Who won’t even mention some of the Star Trek discussions she’s had.
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What is IRC and MUD? As you can probably tell I’ve never used the chat rooms. Angela – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – BIG SNIP I’ve never gotten into chat/IRC/MUD/etc. A roommate of mine in college flunked a semester because he’d spend all of his time MUD-ing. I think you can do that stuff responsibly, but it takes good self-control. – Denise — If you’re posting to the group, PLEASE don’t send me a cc: too http://www.mcs.net/~dvoskuil/ X/USA/H+/-/5f/3B/Lilac Chatelaine (Victoria Sampler), Dreamer (Mirabilia)/XRK/32L/D/:-P~/0/M/B/b/R-/S/Kc/E/S/G/W-/-/-/ Chow Yun-Fat, Bruce Campbell/varies/hot salsa and tortilla chips
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Thought I would ask this question, the reason being is that I have read where the Internet has broken up marriages, and friendships and the like.
Interesting topic! Let me preface this by saying that this has NOT happened to me, but it’s happened to a few people that I know. My own experience is that I spent a few weeks doing online chats about five years ago, and saw firsthand how shallow, but intially interesting, it can be to develop an online "relationship". Once I figured out that I was wasting my time, I stopped doing it. It seems easier to many people to maintain online "relationships" than real-life ones. It’s easy to trick yourself into thinking you’re getting to know people online, and that your interactions are meaningful. In some respects, they can be…we all get alot out of our discussions here in RCTN, for example. But I’ll bet that no relationships or friendships have been damaged by RCTN (unless you stay up all night catching up on those 3000 messages that cropped up while you were on vacation! -grin- ) Way too many people (men, women, boys and girls) are turning to their computer and to these cyberpersonas thinking they’re getting the real thing. It can be flattering to find someone who is willing to talk and listen (i.e., type and read) to your stories, gripes, joys, fantasies, etc. You can even latch onto one person who is willing to reciprocate what seems to be nearly complete and undivided attention to you, and that’s where things get carried away. Especially for a young person with little real-life experience in relationships, it can be overwhelmingly fun and a big ego boost to think that someone else is that "into you." Just like when you had your highschool romances and found that one boy who was just dreamy, who couldn’t live without you, who couldn’t go one day without talking to you on the phone, it’s so easy to find that kind of breathy, goofy flirtation online. What most people forget is that that kind of interaction is pretty lame, and it’s certainly no substitute for real life. But if you’re in a relationship (marriage or otherwise) that is going through a boring period, or if you feel misunderstood or taken for granted, it’s easy to slip into the mindset that an online interaction is easier, better, more fun, more sexy, more interesting (fill in your own word) than the real one that you’re in at the time. Too many people launch themselves into the easier mode of interaction, and if it’s "forbidden", that just increases the intrigue. Next thing you know, you’ve cheated on your spouse, moved out and moved in with the person you met online. Lo and behold, it turns out that they’re not who/what you thought…hey, they leave the cap off the toothpaste! She chews with her mouth open! He lied about his looks! Someone embellished a story. Then you find that you’re disallusioned, but by then, you’ve thrown away what you had before and it looks good by comparison. *That’s* how real lives get messed up by online interactions. Like I said, this hasn’t happened to me directly, but I do know someone who left his wife because he met this wonderful person online. What a dope. As expected, neither relationship worked out, but he learned that easy does not mean better when it comes to real life love. Just my two cents… Nancy to reply via email, remove THE OTTER from my return address
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