Question:
If I had more energy on a day I’m packing for vacation, I’d take a couple photos of our neighborhood and let everyone guess which one we are.
Why, the one with the tulips, of course. 
— "The only thing I know about Slovakia is what I learned first-hand from your foreign minister, who came to Texas." - Our worldly president-to-be, to a Slovak journalist as quoted by Knight Ridder News Service, June 22, 1999. Bush’s meeting was with Janez Drnovsek, the prime minister of Slovenia.
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Just completed an AZ real estate course in which we briefly covered this. Here, at least, the official designation is "manufactured home". Makes no sense to me, as *any* home, even site-built would seem to qualify as a "manufactured home" (unless it’s a tree house, of course!) Manufacturered as in being bult in a factory controlled setting as opposed to stick built on your lot, is generally the difference between the definitions. We’ve lived in a factory-built modular, non-trailer, non-Fleetwood, home for 25 years. Our home looks like everyone else’s mid-1970s style home, came with top-quality items (was, in fact, a model home). We’ve got double-thick sub-flooring, heavy-duty everything, no phony vinyl or aluminum siding, and have had much fewer problems than our neighbors. Our walls are the straightest, everything’s been put together with precision. It’s on a real foundation and we have a basement. We were renting nearby and I remember seeing it being "installed" in three huge pieces (two house-halves and the garage) and I thought it was kind of creepy. But when we took a serious look at it, we loved it. Our neighborhood has at least ten earthquake faults running through it (the Wasatch Fault is infamous as one of the nation’s "readiest") – and we decided that if The Big One hit, our house would just kinda bounce up and down while everyone else’s fell apart ;) Kris, I have to agree. At one time they weren’t much, but they’ve evolved. In this part of the country there are a lot of "manufactured homes". People will buy a lot of several acres then plant their favorite manufactured on it. Most of the time, you can’t tell the difference between the manufacture d and a site-built home. We have looked at some manufactureds here, and the amenities and constructions are often every bit as good as they are on the site-built homes, for a lot less money. One of the few obvious differences is that here, site-built homes are on a concrete slab, whereas the manufactureds need to have a crawl space underneath. I know. People think it sounds strange when I tell them what our house is — because we’re in a subdivision where all the others are stick-built (and where, if you can find a lot, you now pay at least $70,000 for a quarter acre). The company that manufactured our home was based in Salt Lake City and did not transport homes more than thirty miles and thought, like others in the 1970s, that factory-built homes would be the next big thing. Here in Utah, if you don’t have a full basement (eight feet or more deep), it hurts resale value. Most finish them off for extra living space – kind of like an upside down two-story. I’m looking UP through a window right now. ;) If I had more energy on a day I’m packing for vacation, I’d take a couple photos of our neighborhood and let everyone guess which one we are. Kris
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Just completed an AZ real estate course in which we briefly covered this. Here, at least, the official designation is "manufactured home". Makes no sense to me, as *any* home, even site-built would seem to qualify as a "manufactured home" (unless it’s a tree house, of course!) Manufacturered as in being bult in a factory controlled setting as opposed to stick built on your lot, is generally the difference between the definitions. We’ve lived in a factory-built modular, non-trailer, non-Fleetwood, home for 25 years. Our home looks like everyone else’s mid-1970s style home, came with top-quality items (was, in fact, a model home). We’ve got double-thick sub-flooring, heavy-duty everything, no phony vinyl or aluminum siding, and have had much fewer problems than our neighbors. Our walls are the straightest, everything’s been put together with precision. It’s on a real foundation and we have a basement. We were renting nearby and I remember seeing it being "installed" in three huge pieces (two house-halves and the garage) and I thought it was kind of creepy. But when we took a serious look at it, we loved it. Our neighborhood has at least ten earthquake faults running through it (the Wasatch Fault is infamous as one of the nation’s "readiest") – and we decided that if The Big One hit, our house would just kinda bounce up and down while everyone else’s fell apart ;) Kris, I have to agree. At one time they weren’t much, but they’ve evolved. In this part of the country there are a lot of "manufactured homes". People will buy a lot of several acres then plant their favorite manufactured on it. Most of the time, you can’t tell the difference between the manufacture d and a site-built home. We have looked at some manufactureds here, and the amenities and constructions are often every bit as good as they are on the site-built homes, for a lot less money. One of the few obvious differences is that here, site-built homes are on a concrete slab, whereas the manufactureds need to have a crawl space underneath.
I know. People think it sounds strange when I tell them what our house is — because we’re in a subdivision where all the others are stick-built (and where, if you can find a lot, you now pay at least $70,000 for a quarter acre). The company that manufactured our home was based in Salt Lake City and did not transport homes more than thirty miles and thought, like others in the 1970s, that factory-built homes would be the next big thing. Here in Utah, if you don’t have a full basement (eight feet or more deep), it hurts resale value. Most finish them off for extra living space – kind of like an upside down two-story. I’m looking UP through a window right now. ;) If I had more energy on a day I’m packing for vacation, I’d take a couple photos of our neighborhood and let everyone guess which one we are. Kris
Response:
Kris, I have to agree. At one time they weren’t much, but they’ve evolved. In this part of the country there are a lot of "manufactured homes". People will buy a lot of several acres then plant their favorite manufactured on it. Most of the time, you can’t tell the difference between the manufacture d and a site-built home. We have looked at some manufactureds here, and the amenities and constructions are often every bit as good as they are on the site-built homes, for a lot less money. One of the few obvious differences is that here, site-built homes are on a concrete slab, whereas the manufactureds need to have a crawl space underneath.
We looked at the Smart Homes "manufactured homes" before deciding to buy a used house. The one that we looked at was huge and they set it up a cement slap not piers. You can have them set it on piers but it’s your choice. If you ever drive through Channelview on I-10 their model lot has some really nice houses on it if you can afford to pay between $75,000 and up for a manufactured home. We couldn’t afford to buy one of those plus land to put it on. Kimberly – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text –
Response:
Try www.screwedboakwood.com http://www.thecomplaintstation.com/f/Default.htm Fun, fun, fun…. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Fleetwood is considered top-of-the-line for manufactured housing (trailers, mobile homes, whatever)in this (red) neck of the woods. But manufacturers of these products, in general, are considered incredibly shady (no wonder, they are almost totally unregulated). Would love to hear a story or two. They’re officially designated as "manufactured homes" now. The name has evolved from trailers to mobile homes to manufactured homes. The term "manufactured homes" is still mostly used for those prefab things – not a trailer, but where they have, well, basically a kit and come out to your lot and slap the thing up in no time. dollface (Fleetwood Homes used to be a client…now *there’s* some good stories 
— Life would be great if it weren’t | If I want to hear the for all these people…sometimes | pitter patter of I don’t know whether to laugh, | little feet, I’ll put cry, or slit my wrists. | shoes on my cats.
The listed email is incorrect. Drop the 6&1 to get to my email address.
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Just completed an AZ real estate course in which we briefly covered this. Here, at least, the official designation is "manufactured home". Makes no sense to me, as *any* home, even site-built would seem to qualify as a "manufactured home" (unless it’s a tree house, of course!) Manufacturered as in being bult in a factory controlled setting as opposed to stick built on your lot, is generally the difference between the definitions. We’ve lived in a factory-built modular, non-trailer, non-Fleetwood, home for 25 years. Our home looks like everyone else’s mid-1970s style home, came with top-quality items (was, in fact, a model home). We’ve got double-thick sub-flooring, heavy-duty everything, no phony vinyl or aluminum siding, and have had much fewer problems than our neighbors. Our walls are the straightest, everything’s been put together with precision. It’s on a real foundation and we have a basement. We were renting nearby and I remember seeing it being "installed" in three huge pieces (two house-halves and the garage) and I thought it was kind of creepy. But when we took a serious look at it, we loved it. Our neighborhood has at least ten earthquake faults running through it (the Wasatch Fault is infamous as one of the nation’s "readiest") – and we decided that if The Big One hit, our house would just kinda bounce up and down while everyone else’s fell apart ;)
Kris, I have to agree. At one time they weren’t much, but they’ve evolved. In this part of the country there are a lot of "manufactured homes". People will buy a lot of several acres then plant their favorite manufactured on it. Most of the time, you can’t tell the difference between the manufacture d and a site-built home. We have looked at some manufactureds here, and the amenities and constructions are often every bit as good as they are on the site-built homes, for a lot less money. One of the few obvious differences is that here, site-built homes are on a concrete slab, whereas the manufactureds need to have a crawl space underneath.
Response:
Around here, that would be called a "modular" home. David
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – They’re officially designated as "manufactured homes" now. The name has evolved from trailers to mobile homes to manufactured homes. The term "manufactured homes" is still mostly used for those prefab things – not a trailer, but where they have, well, basically a kit and come out to your lot and slap the thing up in no time. dollface (Fleetwood Homes used to be a client…now *there’s* some good stories — Life would be great if it weren’t | If I want to hear the for all these people…sometimes | pitter patter of I don’t know whether to laugh, | little feet, I’ll put cry, or slit my wrists. | shoes on my cats.
Response:
Fleetwood is considered top-of-the-line for manufactured housing (trailers, mobile homes, whatever)in this (red) neck of the woods. But manufacturers of these products, in general, are considered incredibly shady (no wonder, they are almost totally unregulated). Would love to hear a story or two. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – They’re officially designated as "manufactured homes" now. The name has evolved from trailers to mobile homes to manufactured homes. The term "manufactured homes" is still mostly used for those prefab things – not a trailer, but where they have, well, basically a kit and come out to your lot and slap the thing up in no time. dollface (Fleetwood Homes used to be a client…now *there’s* some good stories — Life would be great if it weren’t | If I want to hear the for all these people…sometimes | pitter patter of I don’t know whether to laugh, | little feet, I’ll put cry, or slit my wrists. | shoes on my cats.
Response:
Fleetwood is considered top-of-the-line for manufactured housing (trailers, mobile homes, whatever)in this (red) neck of the woods. But manufacturers of these products, in general, are considered incredibly shady (no wonder, they are almost totally unregulated). Would love to hear a story or two.
Well, we were their life insurance agency. Some of the claims we got indicated, well, that their employees weren’t the brightest bulbs. :) And their claims history was totally skewed…in most companies, the majority of claims (probably 80% or more) are due to natural causes. But with Fleetwood, nearly half of all their claims were unnatural – car wrecks, shootings, drownings, etc. Then there was the spontaneous combustion… Two guys cleaning auto parts in their garage. Using gasoline and wire brushes. With no ventilation. Two guys go boom… — Life would be great if it weren’t | If I want to hear the for all these people…sometimes | pitter patter of I don’t know whether to laugh, | little feet, I’ll put cry, or slit my wrists. | shoes on my cats.
Response:
Just completed an AZ real estate course in which we briefly covered this. Here, at least, the official designation is "manufactured home". Makes no sense to me, as *any* home, even site-built would seem to qualify as a "manufactured home" (unless it’s a tree house, of course!) Manufacturered as in being bult in a factory controlled setting as opposed to stick built on your lot, is generally the difference between the
definitions. We’ve lived in a factory-built modular, non-trailer, non-Fleetwood, home for 25 years. Our home looks like everyone else’s mid-1970s style home, came with top-quality items (was, in fact, a model home). We’ve got double-thick sub-flooring, heavy-duty everything, no phony vinyl or aluminum siding, and have had much fewer problems than our neighbors. Our walls are the straightest, everything’s been put together with precision. It’s on a real foundation and we have a basement. We were renting nearby and I remember seeing it being "installed" in three huge pieces (two house-halves and the garage) and I thought it was kind of creepy. But when we took a serious look at it, we loved it. Our neighborhood has at least ten earthquake faults running through it (the Wasatch Fault is infamous as one of the nation’s "readiest") – and we decided that if The Big One hit, our house would just kinda bounce up and down while everyone else’s fell apart ;) Kris
Response:
They’re officially designated as "manufactured homes" now. The name has evolved from trailers to mobile homes to manufactured homes. The term "manufactured homes" is still mostly used for those prefab things – not a trailer, but where they have, well, basically a kit and come out to your lot and slap the thing up in no time. dollface (Fleetwood Homes used to be a client…now *there’s* some good stories
Just completed an AZ real estate course in which we briefly covered this. Here, at least, the official designation is "manufactured home". Makes no sense to me, as *any* home, even site-built would seem to qualify as a "manufactured home" (unless it’s a tree house, of course!)
Response:
Point of order: Trailers and mobile homes are completely different animals. A trailer — just like it sounds — is a pulled device.
Jan a/k/a "LeftCoast C.C.", "A trailer — just like it sounds — is a pulled device." Your post implies that a mobile home is not a trailer. What do you suppose those axles and tongue on mobile homes are used for….pushing it to it’s destination? ELF
Response:
They’re officially designated as "manufactured homes" now. The name has evolved from trailers to mobile homes to manufactured homes.
The term "manufactured homes" is still mostly used for those prefab things – not a trailer, but where they have, well, basically a kit and come out to your lot and slap the thing up in no time. dollface (Fleetwood Homes used to be a client…now *there’s* some good stories — Life would be great if it weren’t | If I want to hear the for all these people…sometimes | pitter patter of I don’t know whether to laugh, | little feet, I’ll put cry, or slit my wrists. | shoes on my cats.
Response:
I thought he was in Cleveland or Detroit, or somewheres like that, obviously he’s close to where the real action is. Just because they call it a Mobile Home doesn’t mean it comes from Mobile Alabama. (my apologies to those living in mobile homes, I think those jokes are mean and cruel and nasty and misdirected and come from the "holier than thou" element of society-the real sicko’s who get their jollys at the expense of others).
They’re officially designated as "manufactured homes" now. The name has evolved from trailers to mobile homes to manufactured homes.
Response:
Point of order: Trailers and mobile homes are completely different animals. A trailer — just like it sounds — is a pulled device. — "The only thing I know about Slovakia is what I learned first-hand from your foreign minister, who came to Texas." - Our worldly president-to-be, to a Slovak journalist as quoted by Knight Ridder News Service, June 22, 1999. Bush’s meeting was with Janez Drnovsek, the prime minister of Slovenia.
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I thought he was in Cleveland or Detroit, or somewheres like that, obviously he’s close to where the real action is. Just because they call it a Mobile Home doesn’t mean it comes from Mobile Alabama. (my apologies to those living in mobile homes, I think those jokes are mean and cruel and nasty and misdirected and come from the "holier than thou" element of society-the real sicko’s who get their jollys at the expense of others). They’re officially designated as "manufactured homes" now. The name has evolved from trailers to mobile homes to manufactured homes.
Response:
I thought he was in Cleveland or Detroit, or somewheres like that, obviously he’s close to where the real action is. Just because they call it a Mobile Home doesn’t mean it comes from Mobile Alabama. (my apologies to those living in mobile homes, I think those jokes are mean and cruel and nasty and misdirected and come from the "holier than thou" element of society-the real sicko’s who get their jollys at the expense of others). – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Aw, c’mon, we don’t need this to learn about southern culture. Just turn on the Jerry Springer Show and you get a good enough dose of it. Peter Since Ebay’s reps sometimes have trouble with things Southern, I thought I’d give them the following advice. Leftcoast, this will be right up your alley, considering how much you love to quote our newly crowned King. The new Texas White House in Crawford, Texas, will soon be drawing a number of people to that area, including many who are not used to southern hospitality. They might find useful the following travel advice: Issued by the Southern Tourism Bureau to ALL visiting Northerners And northeastern Urbanites: 1) Don’t order filet mignon or pasta primavera at Waffle House. It’s just a diner. They serve breakfast 24 hours a day. Let them cook something they know. 2) Don’t laugh at our Southern names (Merleen, Bodie, Ovine, Luther Ray,Tammy Lynn, Darla Beth, Inez, Billy Joe, Sissy, Clovis, etc.). 3) Don’t order a bottle of pop or a can of soda down here. Down here it’s called Coke. Nobody gives a hoot whether it’s Pepsi, RC, Dr. Pepper, 7-Up or whatever — it’s still a Coke. Accept it. 4) We know our heritage. Most of us are more literate than you (e.g.,Welty, Williams, Faulkner). We are also better educated and generally a lot nicer. Don’t refer to us as a bunch of hillbillies. 5) We have plenty of business sense (e.g., Fred Smith of Fed Ex, Turner Broadcasting, MCI WorldCom, MTV, Netscape). Naturally, we do sometimes, have small lapses in judgment (e.g., Carter, Edwards, Duke, Barnes, Clinton). We don’t care if you think we are dumb. We are not dumb enough to let someone move to our state in order to run for the Senate. 6) Don’t laugh at our Civil War monuments. If Lee had listened to Longstreet and flanked Meade at Gettysburg instead of sending Pickett up the middle, you’d be paying taxes to Richmond instead of Washington. 7) We are fully aware of how high the humidity is, so shut up about it. Just spend your money and get out of here. 8) Don’t order wheat toast at Cracker Barrel. Everyone will instantly know that you’re a Yankee. Eat your biscuits like God intended — with gravy. And don’t put sugar on your grits! 9) Don’t fake a Southern accent. This will incite a riot. 10) Don’t talk about how much better things are at home because we know better. Many of us have visited Northern hxxl-holes like Detroit, Chicago, and DC, and we have the scars to prove it. If you don’t like it here, Delta is ready when you are. 11) Yes, we know how to speak proper English. We talk this way because we don’t want to sound like you. We don’t care if you don’t understand what we are saying. All other Southerners understand what we are saying, and that’s all that matters. Now, go away and leave us alone. 12) Don’t complain that the South is dirty and polluted. None of OUR lakes or rivers have caught fire recently. 13) Don’t ridicule our Southern manners. We say sir and ma’am. We hold doors open for others. We offer our seats to old folks because such things are expected of civilized people. Behave yourselves around our sweet little grey-haired grandmothers. 14) So you think we’re quaint or losers because most of us live in the countryside? That’s because we have enough sense to not live in filthy, smelly, crime-infested cesspools like New York or Baltimore. 15) Last, but not least, DO NOT DARE to come down here and tell us how to barbecue. You’re lucky we let you come down here at all.
Response:
Since Ebay’s reps sometimes have trouble with things Southern, I thought I’d give them the following advice. Leftcoast, this will be right up your alley, considering how much you love to quote our newly crowned King.
It’s funny, but I don’t see how it’s a "W" thing. It’d be apropos for at least 5 of our last 8 presidents, democans and republicrats alike; plus, it works also for the guy who LOST last November. -Bob
Response:
That’s great! As an aside, I’d hate to cover the president. When he’s in Crawford, the press has to hole up in ridiculous locations, far far away, and wait for Ari to call with his "President Bush will see you now" b.s. But I wouldn’t mind trying some of that bbq. — "I don’t remember debates. I don’t think we spent a lot of time debating it. Maybe we did, but I don’t remember." – Gov. GW Bush (pulling a Clarence Thomas), on discussions of the Vietnam War when he was an undergraduate at Yale, Washington Post, July 27, 1999 – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Since Ebay’s reps sometimes have trouble with things Southern, I thought I’d give them the following advice. Leftcoast, this will be right up your alley, considering how much you love to quote our newly crowned King. The new Texas White House in Crawford, Texas, will soon be drawing a number of people to that area, including many who are not used to southern hospitality. They might find useful the following travel advice: Issued by the Southern Tourism Bureau to ALL visiting Northerners And northeastern Urbanites: 1) Don’t order filet mignon or pasta primavera at Waffle House. It’s just a diner. They serve breakfast 24 hours a day. Let them cook something they know. 2) Don’t laugh at our Southern names (Merleen, Bodie, Ovine, Luther Ray,Tammy Lynn, Darla Beth, Inez, Billy Joe, Sissy, Clovis, etc.). 3) Don’t order a bottle of pop or a can of soda down here. Down here it’s called Coke. Nobody gives a hoot whether it’s Pepsi, RC, Dr. Pepper, 7-Up or whatever — it’s still a Coke. Accept it. 4) We know our heritage. Most of us are more literate than you (e.g.,Welty, Williams, Faulkner). We are also better educated and generally a lot nicer. Don’t refer to us as a bunch of hillbillies. 5) We have plenty of business sense (e.g., Fred Smith of Fed Ex, Turner Broadcasting, MCI WorldCom, MTV, Netscape). Naturally, we do sometimes, have small lapses in judgment (e.g., Carter, Edwards, Duke, Barnes, Clinton). We don’t care if you think we are dumb. We are not dumb enough to let someone move to our state in order to run for the Senate. 6) Don’t laugh at our Civil War monuments. If Lee had listened to Longstreet and flanked Meade at Gettysburg instead of sending Pickett up the middle, you’d be paying taxes to Richmond instead of Washington. 7) We are fully aware of how high the humidity is, so shut up about it. Just spend your money and get out of here. 8) Don’t order wheat toast at Cracker Barrel. Everyone will instantly know that you’re a Yankee. Eat your biscuits like God intended — with gravy. And don’t put sugar on your grits! 9) Don’t fake a Southern accent. This will incite a riot. 10) Don’t talk about how much better things are at home because we know better. Many of us have visited Northern hxxl-holes like Detroit, Chicago, and DC, and we have the scars to prove it. If you don’t like it here, Delta is ready when you are. 11) Yes, we know how to speak proper English. We talk this way because we don’t want to sound like you. We don’t care if you don’t understand what we are saying. All other Southerners understand what we are saying, and that’s all that matters. Now, go away and leave us alone. 12) Don’t complain that the South is dirty and polluted. None of OUR lakes or rivers have caught fire recently. 13) Don’t ridicule our Southern manners. We say sir and ma’am. We hold doors open for others. We offer our seats to old folks because such things are expected of civilized people. Behave yourselves around our sweet little grey-haired grandmothers. 14) So you think we’re quaint or losers because most of us live in the countryside? That’s because we have enough sense to not live in filthy, smelly, crime-infested cesspools like New York or Baltimore. 15) Last, but not least, DO NOT DARE to come down here and tell us how to barbecue. You’re lucky we let you come down here at all.
Response:
Aw, c’mon, we don’t need this to learn about southern culture. Just turn on the Jerry Springer Show and you get a good enough dose of it. Peter – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Since Ebay’s reps sometimes have trouble with things Southern, I thought I’d give them the following advice. Leftcoast, this will be right up your alley, considering how much you love to quote our newly crowned King. The new Texas White House in Crawford, Texas, will soon be drawing a number of people to that area, including many who are not used to southern hospitality. They might find useful the following travel advice: Issued by the Southern Tourism Bureau to ALL visiting Northerners And northeastern Urbanites: 1) Don’t order filet mignon or pasta primavera at Waffle House. It’s just a diner. They serve breakfast 24 hours a day. Let them cook something they know. 2) Don’t laugh at our Southern names (Merleen, Bodie, Ovine, Luther Ray,Tammy Lynn, Darla Beth, Inez, Billy Joe, Sissy, Clovis, etc.). 3) Don’t order a bottle of pop or a can of soda down here. Down here it’s called Coke. Nobody gives a hoot whether it’s Pepsi, RC, Dr. Pepper, 7-Up or whatever — it’s still a Coke. Accept it. 4) We know our heritage. Most of us are more literate than you (e.g.,Welty, Williams, Faulkner). We are also better educated and generally a lot nicer. Don’t refer to us as a bunch of hillbillies. 5) We have plenty of business sense (e.g., Fred Smith of Fed Ex, Turner Broadcasting, MCI WorldCom, MTV, Netscape). Naturally, we do sometimes, have small lapses in judgment (e.g., Carter, Edwards, Duke, Barnes, Clinton). We don’t care if you think we are dumb. We are not dumb enough to let someone move to our state in order to run for the Senate. 6) Don’t laugh at our Civil War monuments. If Lee had listened to Longstreet and flanked Meade at Gettysburg instead of sending Pickett up the middle, you’d be paying taxes to Richmond instead of Washington. 7) We are fully aware of how high the humidity is, so shut up about it. Just spend your money and get out of here. 8) Don’t order wheat toast at Cracker Barrel. Everyone will instantly know that you’re a Yankee. Eat your biscuits like God intended — with gravy. And don’t put sugar on your grits! 9) Don’t fake a Southern accent. This will incite a riot. 10) Don’t talk about how much better things are at home because we know better. Many of us have visited Northern hxxl-holes like Detroit, Chicago, and DC, and we have the scars to prove it. If you don’t like it here, Delta is ready when you are. 11) Yes, we know how to speak proper English. We talk this way because we don’t want to sound like you. We don’t care if you don’t understand what we are saying. All other Southerners understand what we are saying, and that’s all that matters. Now, go away and leave us alone. 12) Don’t complain that the South is dirty and polluted. None of OUR lakes or rivers have caught fire recently. 13) Don’t ridicule our Southern manners. We say sir and ma’am. We hold doors open for others. We offer our seats to old folks because such things are expected of civilized people. Behave yourselves around our sweet little grey-haired grandmothers. 14) So you think we’re quaint or losers because most of us live in the countryside? That’s because we have enough sense to not live in filthy, smelly, crime-infested cesspools like New York or Baltimore. 15) Last, but not least, DO NOT DARE to come down here and tell us how to barbecue. You’re lucky we let you come down here at all.
Response:
Since Ebay’s reps sometimes have trouble with things Southern, I thought I’d give them the following advice. Leftcoast, this will be right up your alley, considering how much you love to quote our newly crowned King. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – The new Texas White House in Crawford, Texas, will soon be drawing a number of people to that area, including many who are not used to southern hospitality. They might find useful the following travel advice: Issued by the Southern Tourism Bureau to ALL visiting Northerners And northeastern Urbanites: 1) Don’t order filet mignon or pasta primavera at Waffle House. It’s just a diner. They serve breakfast 24 hours a day. Let them cook something they know. 2) Don’t laugh at our Southern names (Merleen, Bodie, Ovine, Luther Ray,Tammy Lynn, Darla Beth, Inez, Billy Joe, Sissy, Clovis, etc.). 3) Don’t order a bottle of pop or a can of soda down here. Down here it’s called Coke. Nobody gives a hoot whether it’s Pepsi, RC, Dr. Pepper, 7-Up or whatever — it’s still a Coke. Accept it. 4) We know our heritage. Most of us are more literate than you (e.g.,Welty, Williams, Faulkner). We are also better educated and generally a lot nicer. Don’t refer to us as a bunch of hillbillies. 5) We have plenty of business sense (e.g., Fred Smith of Fed Ex, Turner Broadcasting, MCI WorldCom, MTV, Netscape). Naturally, we do sometimes, have small lapses in judgment (e.g., Carter, Edwards, Duke, Barnes, Clinton). We don’t care if you think we are dumb. We are not dumb enough to let someone move to our state in order to run for the Senate. 6) Don’t laugh at our Civil War monuments. If Lee had listened to Longstreet and flanked Meade at Gettysburg instead of sending Pickett up the middle, you’d be paying taxes to Richmond instead of Washington. 7) We are fully aware of how high the humidity is, so shut up about it. Just spend your money and get out of here. 8) Don’t order wheat toast at Cracker Barrel. Everyone will instantly know that you’re a Yankee. Eat your biscuits like God intended — with gravy. And don’t put sugar on your grits! 9) Don’t fake a Southern accent. This will incite a riot. 10) Don’t talk about how much better things are at home because we know better. Many of us have visited Northern hxxl-holes like Detroit, Chicago, and DC, and we have the scars to prove it. If you don’t like it here, Delta is ready when you are. 11) Yes, we know how to speak proper English. We talk this way because we don’t want to sound like you. We don’t care if you don’t understand what we are saying. All other Southerners understand what we are saying, and that’s all that matters. Now, go away and leave us alone. 12) Don’t complain that the South is dirty and polluted. None of OUR lakes or rivers have caught fire recently. 13) Don’t ridicule our Southern manners. We say sir and ma’am. We hold doors open for others. We offer our seats to old folks because such things are expected of civilized people. Behave yourselves around our sweet little grey-haired grandmothers. 14) So you think we’re quaint or losers because most of us live in the countryside? That’s because we have enough sense to not live in filthy, smelly, crime-infested cesspools like New York or Baltimore. 15) Last, but not least, DO NOT DARE to come down here and tell us how to barbecue. You’re lucky we let you come down here at all.
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